A Love Like No Other
by ssrivast
Summary: Edward is Carlisle and Esme's son. Charles Swan was a dear friend of Carlisle.When both he and his wife Renee die untimely,Carlisle and Esme brought their daughter Bella home and raised her as their own. The moment Edward and Bella looked at each other, it was clear that they shared a special bond that only grew stronger with time. Full summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

Carlisle Cullen is a high ranking officer in his country's army. Esme is his wife and they have a son – Edward. Charles Swan was a dear friend of Carlisle. He lost his life fighting for his country. He had a daughter – Isabella, who was orphaned on her father's death. Her mother – Renee Swan – had died earlier of sickness. Carlisle and Esme brought Bella home and raised her as their own. From the moment Edward and Bella looked at each other, it was clear that they shared a strong bond. As they grew up together, their love for each other also grew stronger with each day. Carlisle and Esme were pleased as they had secretly wished for Edward and Bella to fall in love with each other when they got Bella home. Edward eventually followed his father's footsteps and joined the Army. The most difficult time for Edward and Bella came when Edward had to go for the 3 month mandatory training at the time of enlisting. The Army rules forbade any contact with friends and family during this time. And so for the first time in their lives so far, they were separated for such a long time period.

And now Bella was of age and wanted to join the army herself. Edward was upset because he knew this meant danger and pain for her. Thus started the first argument of their life:

BPOV

We were all sitting in Dad's study. I had requested a family conference to decide on my joining the army. And because Edward was being childish. After all, if he and Dad could, why couldn't I join?

"Yes, I will".

"No, you will not".

"Edward..please please".

"Bella - I'm telling you once and for all. You are not joining the army and the discussion is over now". With this he started getting up.

"Edward, sit down" – Dad said.

Edward looked at him in surprise. "What? Surely you wouldn't be considering her absurd demand Dad?" I started protesting, but Dad raised his hand to indicate that both of us should sit down and listen to him.

"And why would her choice be absurd, Edward?"

"Come on Dad. You know how dangerous it is. And the hardships involved in the life."

"With me and now you in the army, she is well aware of the dangers and hardships, Edward. Bella, are you not?". "Yes dad, I am." I replied calmly. Dad nodded and looked at Edward then and I knew that I have won the battle.

"Edward, my son, your mother and I have never stopped either of you from doing what you wanted to. And we are not going to start now. If Bella wants to join the army, we will not stop her."

I could see the desperation on Edward's face. "Dad, please listen…".

"No Edward, there is nothing more I can say or do. If you still want to discuss this, you should talk to Bella".

Edward was kneeling before me in an instant. "Please Bella", he almost whimpered. But I could feel the resignation set in. With Dad and Mom on my side, he knew he had hardly any options left now. "Please.. I cannot see you suffer. Please love, what will I do if something happens to you?"

"Then you make sure that nothing happens to me. You ensure that I train under the best and the strictest trainer in the army so that I'm as well equipped as possible to survive in any situation." I smiled.

Edward's eyes grew wide. He looked at Dad who was also smiling. Edward was _the best_ and _the strictest trainer_ that they had in the army. And he was due to start a new batch of cadets in a month's time with his friend Jasper. He had met Jasper Whitlock and Emmett McCarty during his training and had told me later that though the 3 of them had clicked the moment they met, the friendship really built through the 3 months of shared hardships, pain and funJ.

I also hoped to build lifelong friendships during my time in the training. My childhood friend Alice Brandon was already slated to join this batch.

EPOV

"You can't be serious about this Bella". To say that I was shocked was an understatement.

I was scared to even think that Bella was joining the army. I was especially fearful of the training period. "The Training", as we called it, was not for the faint hearted. The cadets were tested to the limit and I know many broke with the pressure. But I did realize its importance since the very beginning. Having seen my father, I acknowledged that if you expect people to survive and perform their jobs well in this profession, you needed to train them as best as you can. You need to impart them all the skills that such a life of danger requires, even if it meant discomfort to them for a short span of time. It was like the age old adage – no pain, no gain.

And that was the reason I took my job of trainer for one batch each year very seriously and ensured that I give my cadets the meanest but "the best" training. I took pride in the various nick names the batches have given me over the years – the Devil, the Dracula, the Cold hearted etc.

But now Bella is asking me to do the unthinkable. I didn't think I have it in me to train her the same way I train the other cadets. I can't even stand her slightest discomfort, how am I going to endure the extreme hardships and punishments she is sure to go through during her training - that too in front of me and most of the times of my own doing? How will I forgive myself for causing her pain when I find it difficult not to interfere when Mom or Dad punish her deservingly?

I shook my head in disbelief and looking at our parents repeated – "You can't be serious. How do you expect me to survive training her?"

"What other option do you have son? Would you rather have her train under a less competent person and get hurt or worse on her first assignment itself?" – Mom spoke softly for the first time.

"Listen to what your mom is saying Edward. Now that Bella is joining the army, won't you want her to have the best of everything so that it helps her when she needs it most to perform her duty without hurting herself?" Dad added. I looked at them. Their hopeful faces were not lost on me. Then I reluctantly looked at Bella. She was almost begging me to agree. This girl would really be my undoing. She knew very well that I cannot refuse her anything.

I quickly got up. "Please give me some time to think." Dad nodded and I slowly walked out of the study.


	2. Chapter 2

BPOV

The pain that I saw on Edward's face when I proposed joining his trainee batch was too much to bear. I was almost on the verge of giving in on hearing his anguished plea. Just then Mom spoke up. I could hear the hope and the prayer in her voice that her son would keep her daughter safe. She was already living in constant worry for my father and Edward. And now I was going to add to her burden. The least we all could do for her was to assure that we are as safe as possible.

And then Edward walked out and I was torn between my desire for enlisting and my desire to comfort him.

"Bella, go and talk to him dear" – mom said. "You know better than anyone else how difficult it is for him to see you in pain. If he agrees to this, I dare say that the 3 months training time will be unbearably tough for him. Even tougher than they would be for you."

'I know Mom' – I signed and started moving out.

"Thanks mom, thanks dad. I would never have succeeded in getting Edward to even consider all this without your support."

On reaching Edward's room, I knocked quietly and entered. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his face in his hands. I kneeled in front of him on the floor and took his hands in my own, prying them away from his face. He still kept his face down cast.

"Hey…Talk to me baby. Please tell me what's troubling you." He looked up then and asked me in an anguished voice – "Why, Bella?" I knew what he wanted to know without his saying it out loud. I thought how to phrase it properly and then started slowly.

"Love - apart from the obvious reason that you are the best in the business, I have 2 more selfish reasons. One - I know the training is going to be extremely rigorous and excruciating. I don't think I will be able to survive it without you. I know we cannot acknowledge what we are to each other during the course of the training, but your mere presence will give me the strength I'll need to go on. Second – hmmm..', I hesitated, "well, I know the drill and I know myself. I am bound to make mistakes and those will definitely earn me good amount of punishments." Edward flinched at that, but I continued, "and I would much rather take them from you than from a stranger. You see - they will be much easier to endure when I know you are the one giving them."

'Oh baby' – Edward all but cried – 'you don't know what you are saying. You don't know how I am when I'm training the cadets. You have never seen that side of me. Believe me, it's ugly. My trainees don't exaggerate when they call me the devil incarnate. I am that and much more. I don't smile, I don't mince words and I never overlook even the smallest of mistakes. I'm so tough that people sometimes wonder if I am human. And you know I'm not going to change all that because you would be on the receiving end. Oh Bella, you are going to hate me.'

_Oh..so this was troubling him. _Silly boy - if he was not so serious, I would have laughed at the absurdity of the statement. He should know by now that I can never hate him whatever he may or may not do.

"Edward Anthony Cullen – listen to me. I can never hate you. Moreover, I know your heart is in the right place. I know that even though it may not look like that, you have the best interests of the cadets in your heart. And I know what you achieve by being like that. You give the best foundation that they can get for the tough life ahead. And I'm sure that most of them realize this – if not during the training than definitely later - and thank you for it."

He looked up at me with disbelief.

"What?" I asked.

"Bella, do you really believe this?"

"Of course love. Why would I not? Tell me - is everything I said not true?"

"It is. I just never thought that you will…. know. Now that I think of it, I have not even expressed this to myself so clearly. "  
"Ok. So now are you satisfied that I will always love you – even if you act as a monster?" I smiled.

"Yes. Thank you. It means a lot to me that you understand. A lot of people think that I get this perverse sense of power when I'm commanding a trainee unit. And that I inflict pain on the cadets just for the heck of it or may be just because I can. It makes me sick to even think about it."

"Stop thinking like that. You don't need to worry about what everyone else says. It doesn't matter Edward. You are doing what is right. And people who matter to you know that. So why let the others perturb you."

"Yeah… I know love. Thank you. And I'm really sorry for thinking that you will not understand. I was worrying myself to death that you will stop loving me when you see me like that. "

"Hey do you want to know the truth? My respect and love for you has grown because of this. I know who you are Edward. I know how you care about each and every one of your cadets. It's difficult for you to inflict pain on anyone. And I respect that you are still able to do what is right."

In a second I was in his arms and he was whirling me round. I could see in his smile that the worst was over. He was secure in the knowledge of my undying love and devotion to him. I knew the next 3-4 months are not going to be easy for us, but I was sure now that we will prevail.

After whirling a couple of times, he gently put me down.

"Come Bella. We need to talk this through".

I sat down on the bed and patted to the place next to me. He came and took me in his arms.

"Bella – though I know you are aware of most of it, I still feel I should warn you properly and maybe scare you out of it". The last part was added in a whisper. I looked up at him and saw that he had a smirk on his face.

"Edward before you start let me make this very clear - I'm not going to back out. My application is already ready and I'm sending it today itself. Actually, after we have this talk, you are coming with me to drop the papers."

Edward chucked. "Knew that I can't change your mind once it is set, my stubborn little girl." He continued in a somber voice. "It is going to be tough Bella, tougher than anything you have ever done or imagined. You remember the stories I told you about my training?" I shivered at the memories and nodded. "I didn't even tell you 10% of the whole thing". I had suspected that. His need to protect me from all things bad was too much really. "Plus, my trainer was not even half as strict as I am going to be. You can safely assume that these 3 months are going to be living hell for you".

"And for you too". I added in a small voice.

He sighed deeply and then admitted - "Yes. I still don't know how I am going to manage punishing you. I can't stand seeing you in pain. And it will kill me to know that I have caused you all that pain and that I can't do anything to alleviate the suffering. But enough about me; I will do what I have to for you. You Bella will have to be very strong my love. You will have to pull in all your will power and inner strength. And above all, do not ever doubt my love for you. Whatever happens, remember that I will always love you and be proud of you."

"I know Edward. And I promise I'll try my best."

"Come; let's drop your application now. By the way, did I tell you? Emmett's girl friend is also joining this batch. He called up today morning."

"Oh, that's great. Alice has already applied."

"Yes, she told me when she came to take you to shopping last week. Poor Jasper is already having jitters thinking about it."

"And why's that?"

"Oh come on. The little pixie has him enchanted with her since they met on your birthday last year."

Both of us chuckled at that. When they first met Jasper was shocked into silence by Alice. Not long after that, Jasper had confessed to Edward that he felt a deep connection with Alice. And I knew Alice also was deeply taken with him. But none of them have had the courage to voice their feelings so far.

Ah - this is going to be interesting, really interesting.

Days went by quickly after that. As expected all 3 of us – meaning Alice, I and Rosalie Hale, Emmett's girl friend, were selected. Then two weeks before the training was to start, Dad told us that he was getting transferred to the same army station where the training was to take place. He was going to be the commanding officer of the station. Mom, Dad and Edward planned to travel there a few days before the training was to start. I was not accompanying them because of the obvious reason – with Dad being the CO and Edward the trainer, it would be better if we did not advertise my connection with them. It would be easy to manage – though the Cullens had all but adopted me, I still kept my father's name.


	3. Chapter 3

EPOV

Today was the day I was dreading since the last one month. The day the training program was to start. I knew that Bella had come in yesterday because she called me once she reached, before depositing her mobile. Since regular contact with family and friends was not allowed, cadets could not keep their mobiles with them. There was a phone in the mess where they could be reached though, in case of emergencies.

I was nervous and fidgety since morning. Jasper met me in our office and commented on my state of mind. "Hey man, you seem to be in pain. Come on, it can't be that bad. You will at least have her in front of you. Eyes can do a lot of talking, I'm told."

I sighed and just nodded. "Come on, let's go." With this we both walked towards the ground where the entire batch was already assembled. There were 20 girl cadets in all – including Bella, Alice and Rosalie – Emmett's girlfriend. Emmett had called yesterday and told us that though she knows who we are, she has no idea about Bella and Alice. I quickly looked at the 3 of them standing next to each other.

For a second, my eyes met Bella's and I could see that she was struggling to keep her gaze uninterested. I however, took a chance to look into her deep eyes and following Jasper's advice, tried to convey my love. I saw her visibly relaxing. My presence seemed to calm her.

Time now to start the show. I pulled up my strict instructor façade and stepped forward.

"Good Morning cadets" I continued without waiting for an answer. "As you are aware, this is a training batch for entry into the armed forces of our country. I'm your chief instructor - Captain Edward Cullen. This is my colleague – Captain Jasper Whitlock –joint instructor. It will be a 3 months long training camp in which you will be given physical as well as classroom trainings on all aspects of life in the armed forces. Your schedule for the next 3 months is posted on the notice board. In short, you will be expected to be on the training grounds at 5:30 am every morning. Breakfast at 7a.m., lunch at 1:00pm and end of training day at 5:30 p.m. In between, you will do exactly as instructed by us and the other instructors who will be joining in for different sessions. Before we start, I want to re-iterate few important rules. Follow them and you will be fine. Break them and I promise you will not like the consequences.

First - Be attentive and aware of your circumstances at all times. Do not lose your concentration during an exercise.

Second - Obedience is a key cornerstone of life in the armed forces. Always obey the commands of your superiors without hesitation.

Third - Any infractions and mistakes due to lack of attention or obedience will be swiftly and strictly dealt with.

Fourth and the most important – don't expect any leniency from me because of your sex. If you have decided to join the armed forces, it is my duty to make sure that you become as good as, if not better, than your male counterparts. And this can be achieved only by training you as hard as them. I will not overlook any mistake and the punishments doled out to you will be same as those given to male cadets. If you can't handle them, you have no business being here.

Any questions?" There was unison of "No Sirs".

"Very well"

We started with few basic physical exercises and the day progressed smoothly. I was covertly keeping an eye on Bella and found that Jasper was doing the same with Alice. So far, both of them were doing very well. And then around lunch time, it happened – something I was dreading. We were doing simple hurdles exercise. I was over the other side when I saw Bella whispering something to Alice. This distracted her and she miscalculated the height of the hurdle resulting in falling forward over the hurdle.

My heart sank. She broke the first rule by talking to Alice and losing her attention. And this was the first mistake of the batch. I had told her that the first mistake of the batch is dealt with most severely. The punishment given is exemplary and most often the severest of the entire training period. This is because the instructor wants to let the cadets know that he means business and will not hesitate to act on his words. I can vouch from my own experience that most of the cadets get the message loud and clear and the need for disciplining throughout the session is greatly reduced.

I also know from personal experience how difficult it is to endure the "first "punishment. During my own training, I had to endure 10 strokes each of the regulation cane on my palms and 10 rounds of the training ground with my hands up holding the heaviest rifle available. And now my girl is following in my footsteps. And if I wanted to be true to myself and her, I will need to dole out the same punishment to her.

I picked up the cane and moved near her. Bella was already standing with her head bowed. "Cadet Swan, do you have anything to say in your defense?" "No Sir", she replied. "Very well. You will be receiving 10 strokes of the cane on each of your palms. Right hand forward, palm facing up, now." She immediately complied. When the first stroke landed on her palm I could feel pain radiating through her whole body. She shuddered with the effort of not crying out loud. Good that she didn't because if she had, I'm not sure if I would have been able to stop myself from taking her in my arms immediately, let alone continuing. But my brave girl was determined to take all of it with dignity and her courage gave me the strength to continue. And so I continued raining one stroke after the other till we were done with the allotted 10 on one palm. With each stroke a shooting pain erupted in my chest as if I was physically hurting. But my love took all of them without even a single gasp. I was extremely proud of her and extremely angry at myself when I saw the tears pooling in her eyes. She was trying her best to rein them in but when she saw me looking at her, a single tear fell down but still no voice came out of her mouth.

I waited for her to catch her breath. After few seconds, she raised her left hand forward letting me know that she was ready. At this point I could have given anything to be able to comfort her and take away her pain. Instead, I continued giving her more. By the time the ordeal was over, I hated myself and wanted to cut off my hand for giving her so much pain. I was full of guilt and remorse. I had promised to love and cherish this girl always and what was I doing instead – making her life hell? Why did I agree to her wish of training under me? Then I remembered, if I had not agreed, a stranger would have done this to her and she would have hated it even more.

I felt Jasper's hand on my shoulder. "Edward…" he whispered. I quickly composed myself and addressed Bella – "You will now run 10 rounds of this ground with the rifle held above your head." I could hear a few gasps from the other girls. It is going to be painful to hold the rifle with her bruised palms. I looked at them and asked – "Any problems, anyone?" No one spoke but I could see Alice and.. Rosalie glaring at me – woa.. when did this happen? They must have bonded yesterday evening.

With this I gave Bella the signal to start and dismissed the others for lunch. The moment all of them moved to the mess, I unceremoniously slumped down on the grass. Jasper was besides me immediately. "Hey Edward – I know what you must be feeling. But man I have to say that I am impressed by both of you. Though Bella is definitely tougher than you. I'm sure you wouldn't have lasted the entire punishment if she had started crying."

"You are right Jasper. And my brave girl knew that I cannot see her crying. That's why she kept quite the whole time. Her love for me really amazes me at times. And what do I give her in return? I simply feel like breaking my hand." With that I started hitting my hand on the ground in frustration and guilt. Jasper quickly stopped me. "Edward, are you trying to make this even more painful than it already is for her?" I looked at him in surprise. "Do you think it is fair for her to endure your pain as well as her own at this point?" His point did make sense; her comfort is always above my own. And right now I had to ensure that her injuries are taken care of before the lunch break is over. I would handle my own punishment later.

I quickly got up and rushed to our office. "Jasper, can you let Alice know that Bella will not be coming to the mess for lunch? And do tell her that I will take care of everything, else the pixie will have my head for dinner instead." "Sure" – Jasper chuckled.


	4. Chapter 4

BPOV

The moment I fell over the hurdle, I realized my mistake. Edward had warned that we could not afford to lose our attention during the exercises. And I did just that. While whispering to Alice that Jasper was stealing glances at her, I miscalculated the height. When Edward walked to me with the cane in his hand, I knew that this mistake was going to cost us both dearly. I remembered clearly what he had told me about the first mistake of the batch.

Poor Edward, he looked absolutely crestfallen. I knew him well enough to know that punishing me will almost kill him. He will not be able to forgive himself. That's when I decided that as much as possible I will hide my pain from him, not a word could be allowed to come out of my mouth and definitely no tears. I could see that he was trying to control himself – I could not allow him to lose it by my weakness. So I did exactly as he asked me to and prepared myself for the first strike. The pain was excruciating, way beyond anything I had ever experienced. It took all my will power to remain still. I kept repeating in my mind – _Bella, Edward is giving you this and he loves you so much._ I'm sure this mantra took me through. By the time half of the caning was done, I had tears in my eyes that threatened to spill over. That's when I saw Edward's eyes. My pain was reflecting in them. And I knew that I have failed miserably in keeping my pain from him. This realization hit me hard and a tear rolled off my right eye. I saw Edward flinching and moving slightly towards me to wipe it out. For a second it felt like he will definitely reach out, but then he composed himself just in time. He was on the edge and I knew the sooner the punishment was over, the better it will be. So I quickly brought my left hand up and tried to tell him with my eyes that I'm fine and that he can continue. That I love him and I will take whatever he gives me with pride.

By the time the caning was over, I was a mess with unbearable pain not only in my palms but also in my heart, knowing that Edward must be feeling ten-folds of what I was feeling. And then Edward delivered the remaining punishment. I looked at my hands – the palms were badly bruised from the worst beating they have had. I knew running while holding a rifle above my head was going to test my tolerance to the limit. But I had to do this – couldn't let Edward down. _Come on Bella, time to face the music. I had so confidently told Dad that I can go through anything to fulfill my dream of joining the army. Time to walk the talk now._

With that in mind, I started the first lap. The lunch break was 1 hour. So if I wished to get something to eat, I had 30 minutes to complete the rounds and get my ass in the mess. It was not easy but I was able to finish up in 30 minutes. I deposited the rifle back on the rack and slowly starting walking towards the mess. When I was passing in front of a door, I felt two strong hands grabbing me from the waist and pulling me inside the door. I did not need to look into the face of the person to know who it was. I could recognize this touch even in my sleep. Before I could say a word, the door was bolted, I was sitting on a chair and Edward was kneeling in front of me on the floor.

"Edward..what.." "Shhh my love, let me see your hands first."

I tried to hide them behind me – it would really torture him to see the result of the punishment. I wanted to spare him the pain. But he would not have any of it. "Please Bella, please don't hide from me. I need to see what I have done." His voice was full of pain and guilt. He gently held both of my wrists in his hands and brought my hands to my lap, palm up.

"Oh my God..Bella.. it must be hurting like hell…". There were angry purple bruises criss-crossing on both my palms. They did hurt a lot, but I couldn't tell this to him. So I just kept quite.

"I'm so sorry love, so sorry…oh God…" he kept repeating and started kissing my palms tenderly. After kissing every inch of my palms, he took out a lotion from his pocket and proceeded to apply it on my palms. "Love, it will sting a bit in the beginning, but will sooth the pain real quick." Seeing him tending to my injuries, my control just gave way and I started crying. He was instantly alarmed. "Bella..my darling, what happened? Is the pain too much? Tell me, please." He was growing frantic by the minute. So I did the only thing I could think of to shut him up – I kissed him on the mouth. He immediately responded and took me in his arms. We continued kissing for some time. Then I felt him breaking the kiss reluctantly. When I protested, he chuckled and said – "Hey, I know. I would like nothing more than to continue this. But you have just 15 minutes left of your lunch break and if I don't feed you the evil pixie will kill me." Ah, that was certainly true, Alice will not spare him. I smiled at him then and started to go out. "Oh no… there is no need to go dear. I have your lunch here". With that he picked up a food tray from the table and placed it on my lap. When I tried to reach out for the spoon, he quickly took it in his own hands, "I said I will feed you". And started doing just that.

"Oh Edward, I love you so much." I kissed his hand lightly every time he brought the spoonful of food to my mouth.

"You don't have to say this love. I understand that you must hate me right now." I could hear the self-loathing in his voice. I stopped eating abruptly and lifted his face to look into his eyes. "Edward - I can never hate you. Rather I am so proud of you my darling that you did not let your feelings come in between doing what was right. I'm so proud that you did not lessen the punishment even when I was the one receiving it. I know it must have been so so difficult to do what you did." And kissed his hand again.

"You know this is the same hand that punished you some time back".

"Edward please. I'm glad it's this hand that punished me. I erred and you corrected me. That's it. End of the matter please. I don't want to spend whatever little time I have with you arguing on something so inconsequential."

"If you say so, my dear." He continued to feed me then, but I could see that this matter was far from over in his heart. I was scared that when he will be alone, he will again dwell on this. I just hoped that he will not do anything rash.

When I was done with the lunch, we parted reluctantly. But not before he took me in his arms one last time and squeezed me tight to him. He also gave me the lotion to apply again later. It really was effective. The burning on my palms was reduced to a dull throbbing now. I quickly reached the mess and made my way to the table where Alice and Rosalie were sitting. We had met Rosalie yesterday and the 3 of us had instantly clicked, like our boyfriends, or almost boyfriends in Alice's case.

Rosalie looked very angry and I could make out from her rants that the anger was directed towards my boyfriend.

When they saw me coming, both of them got up and came to me. Rosalie was the first to speak – "Bella, how are you? Did the monster give you any more grief?"

"Monster?"

"The Edward Cullen of course. Haven't you heard, he has had equally flattering nicknames every batch he has taken? When Emmett first told me about his reputation, I thought he was being a bit over the top. But now after what he did to you today, I have no doubts. He really is a monster"

I started laughing. "Come on Rose, give the guy a break. He just did his job. He had already warned us that we were to be attentive always."

"But the punishment was a little severe for a first offence Bella." Alice interjected. I could tell from her tone that though Alice loved Edward like her brother; she was quite upset with him right now.

"He already told us that he will treat us like any other male cadet and will not be lenient. Frankly, I don't fault him for doing what he said he will do. Rather I respect him for this. I would have thought less of him if he had not followed up his speech with action. Besides, didn't I tell you the significance of the first punishment of the batch?" And proceeded to tell them what Edward had told me earlier.

Thankfully, the lunch was almost over and we started moving towards the ground with Rosalie walking ahead of us. Alice took the opportunity to ask me quietly. "How is your hand now Bella? And did you have lunch? I hope Mr. Monster took care of everything to your satisfaction. Else, I will hunt him down and give him a piece of my mind. "

"Not you too Alice. Of course he took care of everything. Let's just say that given this after care, I would be ready to take the punishment again and again." I smiled. Still, she didn't look convinced. I signed – "Alice please, don't be too hard on him. He is suffering as it is. You know how hard it is for him to see me in pain. Compound it with the fact that he caused this pain. Believe me, he is in absolute agony. I'm afraid that he will want to punish himself later for this." I finally voiced my concern.

"Hush Bella. Don't worry about it. I will tell Jasper to talk him out of any such idiotic thought. Now concentrate. We don't want an encore of the morning. Even if you may, Edward will never survive it."


	5. Chapter 5

EPOV

I could see Rosalie walking towards me purposefully.

"Sir, can I have a word?"

"Yes?"

"Will you excuse Cadet Swan from the afternoon's rope climbing exercise today?"

"And why would I do that?"

"Her hands are in no condition to do that, thanks to you." The last part was whispered very softly.

"And whose fault would that be?" I paused to see if she would say something. When she did not, I continued – "She made a mistake and was disciplined for that. That's it. I don't see this as enough reason to excuse her from a session. "

"But Sir…"

"No buts Cadet Hale. She should have thought about this earlier. Now she will just have to bear the consequences. I don't care how she does that." Nothing could be far from the truth. I had already taken care of it. Rosalie didn't know yet, but the afternoon outdoor training sessions were already changed to classroom sessions. I had spent 15 mins promising Peter almost everything under the sun to agree to take rope climbing tomorrow. "And now if you don't want to be punished yourself, you will shut up and do as told"

Her face was red with anger and she was just about to retort. But wisely decided against it. She had nothing but Bella's welfare in her heart, and I would have loathed punishing anyone for taking my Bella's side.

"One more thing. Did Cadet Swan send you to me?" I already knew the answer; my Bella would never do any such thing. But I wanted to reinforce my "asshole" image.

Rose looked horrified. "No, of course not Sir. Bella would never do that. I came on my own."

"Good. Because even I feel Cadet Swan has had enough for one day." With that I walked off but not before I heard Rose mutter "asshole". I was happy to know that my girl had friends looking out for her.

BPOV

When we reached the training ground, we found Rosalie fuming and stomping her foot in frustration. "Hey Rose. What happened?" I asked.

"The asshole refused to excuse you from the rope climbing session today. "

I laughed. "Come on Rose. What were you expecting? That he will say yes? He cannot do that. A punishment is not reason enough to excuse someone from a session and you know it."

"Ok fine. But he was so rude. Said that he doesn't care how you manage. At least he could have been apologetic about the whole thing."

I shook my head in disbelief – Rose was really something. But did not get a chance to reply. My dearest monster was walking towards us now.

Edward quickly brought us to order. And then he announced something that I just could not believe.

He said – "Cadets, I have an announcement to make. There has been a change in your schedule for today and tomorrow. Due to scheduling constraints of the instructor for strategic planning, tomorrow's classroom sessions are advanced to today afternoon. Today's outdoor training sessions will take place tomorrow. Please take your seats in Conference Room No.1 immediately. We will begin in 5 mins."

My heart was filled with love and devotion for him. I knew he did this re-scheduling only for me. Regardless to what he may have said to Rose, he would always care for me.

I gave Rose a "see this" kind of look. She winked at me and said "Ok, the asshole does have a heart it seems."

Both Alice and I laughed at that. The rest of the day went smoothly. My only complaint was that I didn't see Edward again. So imagine my happiness when at the end of the class, the instructor asked if I would be kind enough to take the attendance sheet to the instructors office and hand it over to instructor Cullen or Whitlock. Alice winked at me happily and I immediately rushed to Edward and Jasper's office, hoping to see my love once more before the day was over.

EPOV

I saw the look of pure devotion and adoration on Bella's face when I announced the change in the schedule. She gave a smug smile to Rosalie and Rosalie replied with a wink. Though I didn't catch all of what she said, I could make out the word "asshole" mentioned in the exchange. But as all 3 of them were smiling, I didn't suspect anything bad was said. Seeing the beautiful smile on my girl's face was re-assuring but I could make out that she was still in considerable pain by the way she tried to keep her hands still. There was no way I was going to let my girl suffer any more – the bruises on her palms were bad enough. I couldn't let rope burns cause her any more pain on top of the bruises.

After the classroom session started, Jasper went to our office to complete some paper work and I went out to set up the outdoor sessions for the rest of the week. When I reached the office after a couple of hours, I saw the cane lying on the desk. Seeing it filled me with guilt and self-loathing. I looked at my right hand and knew for sure that it will have to be punished for hurting Bella. That was the only way I could get some piece of mind.

I looked at Jasper and asked him – "Jasper, would you do me a favor?" "Of course, tell me?" he replied absentmindedly.

I picked up the cane from the desk and held it out to him. "20 strokes, on my right hand please. As hard as you can."

The look on Jasper's face was one of horror –"What? Have you gone mad?"

"Please Jasper"

"Edward – I can't do this. Bella will kill me. Plus, I think it's ridiculous. You cannot keep punishing yourself every time something like this happens. Both of you knew before this started that there will be punishments that she will have to endure, most of the times from your hands. This is simply insane."

"Would you say the same thing if instead of Bella and I it was Alice and you?" I saw him flinch. I knew this was a low blow, but I didn't have any other option. Bella had absolutely forbid me from hurting myself ever. I had no other option but to get Jasper to agree to this.

I saw resignation and quite anger set in on his face – he knew I had a point there. He signed and took the cane from my hand. "You don't play fair Edward. And now you have only yourself to blame if I am a little too zealous. Consider this a favor which you will need to return if ever I ask you to in similar circumstances. "

I smiled – "Sure, I will gladly oblige. Go for it bro" and held out my hand for retribution. When the first one hit my hand, I knew Jasper was not joking about being too zealous. Though the pain was excruciating, each stroke gave me great satisfaction as it landed on my palm. By the 10th strike my hand was on fire and I had to support it with my left hand. By the 15th, the skin broke and was bleeding. Jasper paused seeing it – "Enough?" I simply shook my head in no, I was not in any condition to speak. "Oh well, then here it is". I could make out that he was livid with anger. The last 5 were simply torture. But they gave me a sense of peace and I felt my guilt reducing. By the time it was over, I strangely felt light and happy, in spite of the tremendous pain.

Jasper quickly disposed off the cane and by the time he came back with the first aid kit, I was composed enough to speak out.

"Thanks buddy." I croaked. Jasper looked at me as if I had stung him. "You are not at all welcome Edward. Got only knows what will Bella do when she finds out. And Alice", he shuddered, "she will definitely have my balls for this"

"Hmmm… Alice. Good. At least she will be close to where you really need her then", I tried to lighten up the mood.

"Edward…ugh.. I don't want her there. Actually I do want her there eventually…but not at first….oh my god what am I saying." Jasper stammered and blushed. Yes, he really blushed.

"God man..you are red as a tomato. This is definitely something to be relayed back to Emmett." I tried to laugh through the pain.

"Oh whatever. Now let me clean and bandage it for you." At that very instant, there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." I replied out of habit without thinking who could that be.

In came Bella with a beautiful smile on her face and the attendance sheet in her hands. I continued gazing at her stupidly, unmindful of the state of affairs in the room.

"Bella…" Jasper's panicky voice brought me back to earth. I tried to hide my injuries by clasping both the hands together and winced as soon as they came in contact. The bruises were fresh and extremely tender to touch. Bella tensed up instantly and looked down at my clasped hands. And then she looked at Jasper and the first aid kit in his hands.

"What is going on here?" she asked both of us.

"Edward..all yours. I will be inside if you need me." Jasper locked the main door and went inside the small supplies room. Traitor, I thought. Oh well.. he at least gave us some privacy.

I looked at Bella and my heart broke. Her beautiful face was grimaced in pain and her eyes were full of tears.

"Love..no..please don't" – I moved forward and took her in my arms. She started sobbing heavily against my chest. I kept comforting her for some time. She has had a really rough day and in spite of the circumstances, I was glad to be able to hold her in my arms and offer her whatever comfort I could.

After some time she composed herself and stepped out of my arms. "Edward..why?" she asked in an anguished voice.

I understood exactly what she was asking. "Love…I just cannot forgive myself for hurting you. This.." I looked at my bruised hand, "is nothing compared to what I felt here", I touched my heart, "when you were..it was your hand…" I couldn't even say it out loud. "Please try to understand baby… I was so full of guilt and remorse. I had no peace till I bore the same pain you had endured so bravely." I tried to take her in my arms again. It was killing me to see her in such obvious distress. I never ever wanted to cause her any discomfort.

"But you promised Edward that you will not hurt yourself."

"I did not break my promise love."

"Then how…" she wondered in confusion. And then I slowly saw realization dawning on her. "Jasper…. that prick. I swear I'm going to…" she started towards the inner room.

"Hey…wait little girl. Don't say anything to him please. I may have forced him to do this."

"And pray tell how you would have forced him."

"I may have asked what he would have done if it was Alice and him instead of you and me. And I may have promised to return the favor if he needed it ever, you know… , with Alice and him in similar circumstances."

"Oh my… this is not fair Edward. " She smiled in spite of the anger. And I knew that Jasper was saved, at least from Bella. Though from Alice, I don't know. But we would cross that bridge when we get there.

"I never said I play fair love."

Both of us smiled and then she came to me, making me sit on the couch.

"Show it to me please" and then she slowly lifted my hand up to look at the damage. A painful gasp escaped her the moment she looked at my bruised and bleeding hand. "Oh my God Edward…what.. this is too much. God..this must be hurting like hell" she almost cried, "how many?" she asked in a small voice.

I never wanted to tell her this. She was sure to freak out. But couldn't lie to her as well. "20" I said quietly.

"What?" she exclaimed. "20 strikes of the regulation cane?" I nodded.

"Oh no… Edward. This is excessive. I had only 10 on each hand."

"Sweetheart.. you had 10 on each hand, 20 in all. It is only fair that I take at least that many. After all this was punishment for what my hand did to you."

"Edward stop. I told you earlier also that I'm glad it's this hand that punished me. Stop dwelling on this please. You will hurt me even more if you continue lamenting yourself. "

I sighed. My Bella is such an angel. But I still had to do one thing and then I will put all this behind me. I had to ask for her forgiveness. "I'm so sorry love. Will you ever be able to forgive me for what I did this morning?"

"Hey…there is nothing to forgive. You just did your job, that's it. Come on, you know I deserved to be punished. After all I did lose my attention. I should have been concentrating on the exercise, instead of talking to Alice."

"But.."

"No buts love. I know it hurts you to see me in pain, but you have to understand that I am not perfect and I will make mistakes. It is in my own interest that they are corrected swiftly and justly. And believe me there is no one better than you for doing that for me. "

I scorned at this. How could I be the best person to discipline her? So I asked "why so?"

"Because, 1. I know you love me more than anything and somehow that makes it easier to bear the pain. I cannot explain it but it just is. 2. The punishment given by you is much more effective. I know you suffered much more than me during and after disciplining me. This realization is the biggest deterrent for me. I will never repeat the mistake because I cannot stand putting you through the same pain again." She gave me a sad smile.

"Oh Bella, I don't deserve you at all. I'm amazed by the depth of your love for me sweetheart."

"Don't be. You love me the same way. But Edward please promise me that you will not do anything like this again" she pointed at my hand, "I just cannot tolerate your pain. It breaks me."

"Love, how do you think I will be able to endure yours? Plus, wouldn't this serve as an even bigger deterrent for you to not repeat your mistake."

"Oh, I'll not repeat this mistake, but I'm sure to make new mistakes. Please Edward, you are stronger than me. Please give me this. I don't know if I'll be able to endure your pain as well as my own."

"I can't promise love. But I will try my best if you also try not to get into any trouble."

"Ok, that's a deal."

"And now I think you should be leaving. People may be wondering what you are doing for so long in the office of the monster." She has been here for close to 15 minutes now. However much I wanted to spend more time with her in my arms, I knew it was not advisable.

"Yes, I think you are right." she sighed. "But can I please bandage your hand first? That is, if you want me to?"

"Of course love, I would love that."

She first kissed my hand tenderly. Then cleaned the open wounds with the antiseptic. After that she kissed each and every bruise on my palm, the same way I had done for her in the afternoon. And then she applied the ointment and bandaged it. After completing she kissed my hand once more.

"All done. Now something for the pain" she rummaged through the first aid kit and pulled out Tylenol. "I think 1 tablet should be fine, right?" I shook my head in no. "Two then?" she asked.

"No my love. None. You didn't have any so how can I take anything to alleviate the pain?"

She started to protest but I stopped her, 'please love, please don't argue. I need to feel the pain so that I can forgive myself and put this entire episode behind us.'

She finally agreed to let it go but had tears in her eyes. "Oh Edward, it must be so painful."

"No, not anymore. My personal angel kissed away the pain" I smiled at her.

After that I sent her back to her residence. We decided that if anyone asks about the delay she should say that "the monster" was lecturing her on the importance of following the rules and being attentive at all times.

The next day when we assembled in the parade ground, I tried to look at her palms. They seemed to have healed sufficiently to not cause any more pain to her during today's exercises. She looked a little tired, but otherwise alright. I decided to ask her after sometime if she was comfortable.

The morning passed by without any incident. We broke for breakfast at 7 and then I saw Alice coming towards us. When she reached us, I could feel Jasper stiffening next to me.

"Sir, I need to talk to you both privately." She announced.

"Ok, Miss Brandon. Please follow us to our office. We can talk there."

The moment we entered the office, Alice came directly to the subject. Pointing at the bandage on my hand she said - "Edward, I'm warning you. If you pull off something like this again, I'm going to pick that damn cane myself and beat the crap out of you. And you too" she looked at Jasper.

"But what did I do?" Jasper whined.

"Wait for a second, let me first finish this with Edward, then I will deal with you." She was livid.

"Woa Alice..calm down here. Bella knows why I did this. Surely you know, we talked yesterday evening" I tried to reason with her.

"You are telling me to calm down. You idiot, do you even know how much this has affected her? You say you love her, this is how you show her your love? By doing something that is unbearable for her?" she whisper-shouted.

"Come on Brandon, cool it. At this rate, you will have a coronary"

"Don't you tell me to cool it Cullen. I would like to see how you would maintain your cool if you had spend the most part of last night listening to Bella crying in her sleep and begging you not to hurt yourself because she cannot bear it."

"What, Bella was crying in her sleep?" I was horrified.

'Yes, you moron. First she cried a truckload while telling me the whole sorry tale. She was beyond distraught when she told me about the state of your hand when she bandaged it. Then when I was finally able to calm her down and put her to sleep, she kept having this nightmare that she made a mistake because of which she was punished and then you punished yourself severely for causing her pain."

It broke my heart imagining Bella crying again because of me.

"Oh Alice. I'm so sorry. I didn't know that it would affect her so much. I never wanted her to know about all this. But she came to hand over the attendance and.."

"Caught you in the act." She completed for me.

I slumped down on the couch with my face in my hand. "Oh my God, what have I done?"

Alice was immediately beside me. "Edward, just promise me that you will not do anything stupid like this from now on. Yesterday was just the first day, the training is 3 months. You cannot let this happen again. It will break her. I understand your feelings as well, but you have to be strong for Bella. She draws her strength from you, from your love. If you crumble like this, she will lose it. Please, you both have to suck it up and see through the training period. I know you can do it. Maybe you were caught off guard yesterday."

I nodded in understanding. Alice was right, I had to be strong for Bella. She needs me to be strong and I cannot let her down.

I sat up, straightening my shoulders. "Ok Alice, I get it. No more moping around from now on. Please forgive me, I promise no repeats of yesterday during the entire training."

"Ah..that's like my bro." She smiled indulgently at me.

"Thank you for talking some sense in me sis". I got up and hugged her gratefully.

She patted my back and then moved towards Jasper. "And now your turn Mr. Whitlock."

Jasper looked positively terrified. "What were you thinking? You had assured me that you will talk him out of any such idiotic thought. And instead, you ended up helping him out in his misguided venture. Do you have anything to say in your defense?" She mimicked what I had asked Bella yesterday.

"Only one thing, my lady." Jasper replied "that I would have done exactly the same thing if I was in his place."

"What do you mean?"

"If it had been you and me instead of Bella and Edward, the bandage would certainly have been on my hand instead." Jasper said, looking into her eyes and then quietly walked out of the room.

Alice looked stunned and I could not help smiling at her. "What was that?' she asked.

"He is in love with you kiddo. I thought you knew it." I said kindly.

"No, I mean I did know he liked me, but didn't know….."

"Then I'm telling you this. He is head over heels my dear sis" I smiled. And now you run off to breakfast. I don't want you to be empty stomach in the heat outside till lunch."

She nodded and went off.

The next few days were peaceful. Though I could not talk to Bella freely again, I could see that she was trying really hard to not make any mistake. And boy was she good. I knew she would excel in anything she would put her heart in. And that's what was happening. By the end of the first week, she was on top of her class. She was fearless and strong and was learning everything real well. The classroom trainers were also appreciative of her knowledge and skill.

My friend Peter, the rope climbing trainer was especially appreciative of her. He could not stop praising her all the time after the training session with the batch. He got me to agree to introduce them properly – as who they really were, my girlfriend and my friend - after the training.


	6. Chapter 6

**BPOV **

By the time the second day of training ended, I could appreciate why all cadets considered "The Training" as the toughest part of their life in the armed forces. By the time we reached our rooms in the evening, all of my body parts were aching badly. I could see that we had had an easy first day – mainly because of the class room training in the second half. Today was full day of outdoor trainings. It was real hard work. I felt as though I had utilized all my muscles today – even those that had not seen any exercise since long.

The remaining week passed the same way – we would train hard the whole day and then would simply collapse on the bed as soon as we were back. We were welcome to use the officer's mess in the evenings and I knew that Edward was there every evening. We had decided that he will go to the mess daily so that if I was able to make it, we could at least look at each other the entire evening. He had told me at that time only that it will be days before I will have the energy to enjoy anything except rest in the evenings. Naturally, he was right because I just did not have it in me to stand even for a minute more than what was necessary on a training day.

Finally the week was over and it was Sunday – a full day off. We planned to just sleep off the whole day. And then go to the officer's mess in the evening. I was looking forward to the rest and a full evening of eye fucking Edward in the mess. But it seems fate had other plans. One of the girls in our batch – Angela Weber - had a visit. It turned out that she had an abusive boyfriend with whom she broke up just before coming to the training. He somehow found out where she was and came to our residence early in the morning and created a huge scene. The warden had to finally call Edward and Jasper. That's when Edward and I had our first argument during the training. After sending the boy away with the military security, he said that he will be reporting the matter to the governing council to decide if Angela can continue with the training or will need to leave. I objected strongly on Angela's behalf – after all it was not her fault that the boy came and created a scene. Deep down in my head, I did realize that its Edward's duty to inform the governing council, but I think I was just feeling too tired and irritated with the whole affair. I had hoped of a relaxing morning that was rudely interrupted with the whole ruckus. Plus, Angela was a nice girl and I didn't want her to get in any trouble – she was scared shitless as it is. At least by being here she would be safe. If the council asked her to leave, she was fearful that Felix will have his way with her. Worry for her well being added to the stress of the entire week got the better of me and I simply lost it. I argued vehemently with Edward. He tried to get me to see reason calmly at first but finally after 10 minutes of my shouting at him, he had no other option but to take strict action.

"Enough, Miss Swan" he roared, "I don't need to take permission from you before reporting things to the governing council. You will go back to your room right now and will not get out till tomorrow morning when you will report for training."

He then addressed Angela. "Miss Weber, you will come with me right now to report this matter to the council." With that, he started to leave.

Mrs. Cope, our warden, stepped forward. "One question Sir. What about meals for Ms. Swan today? As you know, we don't allow meals to be taken in the living quarters. Can she come down for meals?"

"Under no circumstances will Ms. Swan leave the room. If that means no food for her the whole day then so be it. " With that he went off with Angela.

I went back to my room and bolted it from inside. I hope no one dared to disturb me at least for few hours. I simply sat down on the bed and thought about what had happened in the morning. After a couple of hours of sitting quietly and contemplating, I started feeling calmer and more in control. That's when I realized the purpose behind Edward's punishment. Seeing me in the morning, he must have understood what I was going through – that I was basically feeling out of sorts and emotionally overwhelmed with everything. He knew that whenever something like this happens, I need to take some time off and just be in solitude, I need to go inside my own head and sort everything out – simply, he realized that I needed some time alone and that's what he gave me disguised as a punishment. Of course the no food clause had been an afterthought. He must have forgotten that no food could be taken to the rooms. When Mrs. Cope pointed it out, he had no option but to go through with the already announced punishment, he couldn't have back tracked without raising suspicion.

As soon as the whole thing became clear to me, I was overcome by guilt. I was ashamed of the way I had treated him. Not only did I undermine his authority as my instructor, but also did not trust him as my boyfriend. While I was shouting at him, my love was only thinking about my well being and found a way to give me what I needed without anyone being the wiser.

Just then someone knocked on my door. I opened it slowly to find a sober Alice and a smiling Angela standing in front of the door. I asked Angela - "Are you..", but couldn't even complete my question before she launched herself in my arms. "Yes, Bella, Captain Cullen not only made sure that I was allowed to stay, but also help me get a restraining order for Felix. You will not believe how he fought for me in front of the council. With him as my advocate, it was an anonymous decision to let me continue the training. And after that he took me straight to the local police station to get the restraining order" Angela all but exclaimed. She looked very happy and relieved. Then suddenly she became serious "Bella, I know he has punished you severely two times in the first week itself, but believe me when I say that he is a good man." My heart swelled with pride for my Edward when she said this and I couldn't stop the beaming smile that adorned my face now, "I do believe you Angela. He is a good man and certainly a man of his word. I don't hold any grudge against him for the punishments that I have received so far. I know I deserved both of them, he only did what he said he will do. Actually I am quite ashamed of my behavior today morning." Saying this, I looked at Alice who had remained silent throughout the conversation. I saw her features softening and a small smile creeping at her face.

"Come inside, both of you" I pulled them inside and closed the door again. Though I was much better, I did not want too much company. All of us went and sat on the bed. That's when I noticed that Angela had a package with her.

"Hey, what's this?" I enquired.

She hesitated for a second and then placed the package in my hands. "It's for you."

I looked at her, confused.

"Please don't be mad at me, but I couldn't bear it that you were punished because you took my side."

I interrupted her "No Angela, I was punished not because I took your side, but because of the way I went about doing it."

"I understand that, " Angela replied, "but things would not have progressed so far if not for me, you wouldn't have been so forceful if you had not sensed my fear of being out there where Felix could catch hold of me anytime. " I tried to protest again but she continued. "And that's why when we were done at the station and I was convinced that Captain Cullen was not the monster everyone thought him to be, I brought up your punishment with him. I begged him to at least allow you to come down to the mess for meals. I remembered from our talks last week that you develop severe cramps in your stomach if you don't eat for long. He said that the time alone would do you good and that I shouldn't worry about you, that you will be alright tomorrow. I was disappointed, but could not say anything more. When we were nearing the cantonment area, he asked me if I would mind if we stopped at his home for 5 minutes while returning back. I told him it was fine by me. So he quickly went inside and came back after a few minutes with this package. He must have phoned ahead for someone to keep the package ready. When we reached here, he simply gave me the package and told me to give it to you. I didn't ask anything and just took it. I hope you are not too mad at me for taking this package from him. I'm sure it has some food to sustain you till breakfast tomorrow" she concluded.

I couldn't say anything for some time, I was choked with emotions. I was sure that if I tried to open my mouth, I would start crying and it will be difficult to explain to Angela that why was I crying over a package from my tormentor. She would definitely suspect something. I just nodded and clutched the packet tightly.

Angela must have sensed my emotional turmoil, because she stood up almost immediately. "So I will be going now, I really need to catch up with my sleep". With that she went to her room.

The moment Angela left the room, I collapsed on the bed sobbing. Alice quickly surrounded her arms around me and started rocking slowly, hushing me in a soothing voice.

"Alice, I was so mean to him today morning. I insulted him in front of the whole batch and distrusted him as my boyfriend. He must be so hurt. And in spite of that, he is trying to take care of me", I wailed, clutching my packet as if it was the most precious gift. That it definitely was because it symbolized Edward's love and devotion for me. "I need to apologize to him Alice. You know he did all this for me. He sensed in the morning that I was nearing my breaking point and needed time alone to sort everything out. That's why he gave me this punishment. The only downside was going hungry, but he took care of that as well. I don't deserve his love Alice"

"Stop Bella. Stop this self-loathing immediately. You know you both deserve each other. We all make mistakes at times. Love is all about realizing that and moving ahead. And you guys really have that maturity in you to not take offence when the other is irrational. You anticipate each other's needs and fulfill them. Today also Edward knew what to do so that you could get back your equilibrium. He told me this himself"

I stared at her.

"What, don't look at me like that. So what if I was waiting near the gate to give him a piece of my mind. He is my brother for all intents and purposes and I have the right to be furious at him." She raised her eyebrow at me, challenging me to refute her. When I did not say anything, she continued. "But before I could say anything to him, Angela started gushing over how he convinced the council to let her remain and how he took care of Felix with the local police. I couldn't say anything to him after that. I was so proud of him at that instant that all my anger dissipated. When we were coming inside, he called me and asked me to stay back for a minute. He told me and I quote', she made two quotes with her fingers – She must have realized by now why I gave her the punishment I did. Tell her I knew what she needed and just gave her that. Tell her not to over think and not be guilty at all. And no apology is needed."

I simply nodded at her dumbly. Though he may not need it, I knew I had to ask for his forgiveness.

"What are you waiting for girl, open the package and see what has he sent you." Alice exclaimed.

I opened the packet quickly and found inside almost all of my favorite food items – a large helping of homemade pasta with veggies, a big bar of my favorite chocolate, a big cheese sandwich and a packet of my favorite crackers.

Alice laughed at my gleeful face and stood up. "So, I will leave you to your treats"

Before she left the room, I asked her about going to the mess in the evening. I insisted that she go and let Edward know that I am fine.

The remaining day passed away quickly. By the time Alice came back from the mess, it was close to 9pm and I had consumed all my treats. She knocked and entered the room quietly. I immediately sensed that something was not right.

"What's the matter Alice?" I asked. "How is Edward? Did you see him?"

"Yes I did Bella. And passed on your message. He looked relieved but really gloomy. I thought at first that he must be disappointed as he was looking forward to having you there. But later Jasper told me that Edward has not eaten anything substantial since the morning, just water and some crackers. I tried to convince him to have some dinner, told him that you have had all that he had sent. But he did not relent. Kept insisting that he is fine and that he will have his breakfast tomorrow morning after you have had yours in front of him in the mess."

I was beyond devastated. I realized that this was possibly a part of my punishment – a very big part.

I knew then it was going to be a long night for both of us, I just wanted it to be over. I decided that I will apologize to him twice, first to the chief instructor of the batch in front of everyone, and second to my boyfriend privately.


	7. Chapter 7

EPOV

After dropping Angela back at the residence and asking Alice to pass on my message to Bella, I reached home to find Jasper and mom waiting for me in my room. Mom had a plate of lunch with her. I went and laid down on the bed without saying anything. "Edward, are you all right?" Jasper spoke up. "I'm fine Jazz, Mom really" I tried to reassure both of them. I saw a look exchanged between mom and Jasper.

"Ok, I'll leave then. Will pick you up for going to the mess around 6". That's when I realized that Bella would not be able to come today. Shit.. I was looking forward to the evening. I had planned to ask her for a dance or 2 during the evening so that we could at least talk privately and I could have her in my arms for some time. I really didn't want to go as she was not going to be there now.

"Jazz, I think I will pass today. I'm not feeling quite well"

I heard Jasper sighing. "You should come. Alice and Rose are going to be there. We may get a chance to talk to them and find out how Bella was doing. Alice will tell us if Bella accepted and had the food that you got Angela to sneak in for her." I looked at Jasper alarmed that he may not agree with me on this. I had basically got Angela to break a rule and I was the chief instructor here.

Jasper saw the look on my face and started laughing "Don't look so shocked Eddie baby, Esme told me about your frantic call to her requesting her to pack up some things that Bella liked in 15-20 mins."

Esme chuckled – "You were lucky as I had already prepared her favorite pasta dish for lunch today and had all the ingredients of a cheese sandwich at home."

I had thought of calling mom as soon as we left the cadets residence in the morning. But it simply slipped out of my mind with all the council and police station business. I remembered to call her only when Angela talked to me about Bella at the police station. I wanted to kick myself for forgetting such an important thing and was really grateful when Mom assured me that she will have something ready for me in the time that it will take us to reach home.

"You didn't seriously think that I will rat you out on this, right?" Jasper asked me.

I shook my head – "No, I really didn't think that. But still I should have told you myself or better still taken your consent before doing anything."

"Don't be silly Edward; I know your intent with the punishment had nothing to do with starving her. You were simply caught unawares when the warden mentioned that she will need to come to the mess for meals. And of course you couldn't back down at that point. After all, you have a reputation to uphold – how would it have looked if "the monster" had reversed or lessened a punishment for something as inconsequential as food." He winked and left.

Mom came and sat in front of me on the bed. "Edward, come and have lunch. You missed breakfast also today."

"Sorry mom, I really don't feel like eating anything right now. I will have something later."

I could see that mom was not happy with my response. "Edward, don't feel bad son. You did the right thing. Jasper told me everything that happened there. We all know how irrational Bella gets when she is in that state of mind. You did well by forcing her to spend some time alone. I'm sure she will be back to her normal self after a few hours of solitude."

"But mom, she will need to remain in her room the whole day because of the punishment. It's her first day off since training started and I know she was looking forward to visiting the officer's mess in the evening."

"Edward Anthony Cullen, don't you dare start blaming yourself for that. Bella should have known that you were not there in the capacity of her boyfriend, but as the chief instructor of the training batch. She had no business questioning your authority in front of her entire batch and then some. She should have kept her temper in check. And if you ask me, she really got off easy looking at her offence. If it had been someone else but you, she would have received a much harsher punishment. Moreover, as her boyfriend also she should have trusted you to do the right thing for Angela."

"But mom, she was so overwhelmed with everything, she was not thinking straight…."

"That is no excuse Edward. This is precisely what she needs to learn if she wants to serve in the armed forces. She needs to maintain her cool and remain calm in pressure situation. Your going easy on her is not going to help her son."

I understood what mom was trying to say and realized that she was correct. Bella needed to learn to handle pressure. I decided that I will not eat anything today as part of her punishment. I know it will be more effective than not allowing her any food.

"I get your point mom. You are right, I was a little lenient with her. So I'm going to rectify that now. Can you please take back my lunch and don't get any dinner prepared for me. I'm not going to have any meals today."

Mom looked a little displeased but then sighed and picked up the plate – "I don't like this method too much, but I guess you cannot go back now and increase her punishment. So in view of the circumstances I understand this would be the best way. And the most effective way as well." Mom chuckled, "I understood very early that the most effective punishment for both of you was when the other person was inconvenienced"

"Inconvenienced!..Come on mom, it was more like 'howling in pain' by the time you were done" – I tried to lighten up the mood a little.

The rest of the day went off smoothly. I had some water and crackers at mom's insistence, but nothing substantial. Jasper came around 5:30 and we went to the mess together. I told him about my plan of increasing Bella's punishment; he simply laughed and wished me good luck with the cramps. We decided to let Alice know about it – that way I was sure news would reach Bella.

We had a good time at the mess – though I missed Bella terribly. Jasper actually grew a pair and asked Alice for a dance. And informed her about my hunger strike during the dance. We did not tell her anything about the whole "augmenting the punishment" thing. Though I was confident that Bella will know the true purpose when Alice tells her. That's all that I needed to happen.

The next morning came in finally and at 5:30 precisely, I was standing in front of the whole batch. I saw that Bella was standing with her eyes downcast. Peter was to take the sessions today. So after informing them of the schedule, I was about to pass on the baton (literally) to him when I heard Bella asking for permission to say something. When I replied in the affirmative, she came forward and for the first time lifted her eyes to look at me. I could see the remorse as well as sincerity in her eyes. I could also see some pain there – that must be because of my part in her punishment.

"Sir, I want to apologize for my rude and completely uncalled for behavior with you yesterday. Please know that I'm really sorry for the way I talked to you and argued with you. I realize my mistake and that it is not only your right but also your duty to report everything to the council. Moreover, it's not my place to decide how you carry out your work. I want to assure you that it will not be repeated ever and that I'm ready to accept any further punishment as you see fit."

I was stunned at Bella's apology. I knew she would ask for my forgiveness sometime, but I had no idea that she will do it in front of the whole batch. I had thought that she will do it privately. But now that I think about it, it made sense. I felt a small elbow nudge from Peter, alerting me to stop staring at her and start speaking.

"Thank you for your apology Cadet Swan. Good to know that you understand and accept your mistake. And no further punishment is needed – you received adequate punishment yesterday. So now if we are done with the pleasantries, let's start the day." I replied as coldly as possible, though internally I just wanted to kiss her soundly.

I turned around towards Jasper and Peter and noticed that Jasper was talking to Peter quietly – most probably relaying the back story.

"All yours Peter." With that I started going back in; I was feeling a little light headed.

"Edward, just a minute." Peter indicated for me to stay back. "I understand from Jasper here that Cadet Swan may not have had sufficient nourishment yesterday. If you permit, I would like to suggest that she is allowed to have her breakfast ahead of time and then join us for the outdoor training. I don't think it is advisable for her to train without proper nourishment, she may injure herself. She can continue training through the regular breakfast break to make up for the lost time" he said in his normal voice so that all could hear.

And then he added quietly so that only I could hear – "also, it will not look nice if the chief instructor faints in the field even before the training starts for the day" and winked at me.

"Thanks buddy, I owe you one." I whispered to him. Loudly, I said – "It's your training session Peter, so the call is yours. I will be fine with whatever you decide." I shrugged for good measure.

"Ok, it's decided then. Ms. Swan, please go ahead and have your breakfast. Come back when you are done. Others, please proceed towards the training grounds and take your positions."

"Edward, just so we are clear" he called to me, "you don't owe me anything for this. Your girl is really special, not everyone has the courage and the inclination to apologize in front of their peer group, especially to their boyfriend. Now go and utilize the time alone with her well." He smiled and clapped me on my shoulder.

I returned the smile and jogged back to the mess. I could see Bella walking slowly ahead.

"Bella" I whispered reaching up to her. She stopped and looked up at me with sad eyes. "Would you like to have breakfast with me?" I smiled when her eyes lit up and she nodded. "Give me 5 mins and then come to the office" I said and quickly went ahead. On entering the kitchen of the mess, I found that Jasper had preceded me there and was ordering breakfast for two – making it look like he was getting it for both of us. On seeing me he said – "oh Edward, go ahead to the office. I will bring our breakfast in 5-10 mins."

Seeing no one else in the corridors, I quickly found Bella and took her to my office. After bolting the door, I just crushed her lips with mine. "Hey tiger….let me breathe" she giggled.

"Baby, you are amazing. Thank you for what you did out there."

"I still need to do one more thing" she signed "Edward, please forgive me".

"Baby, you have already apologized outside, you don't need to do it again"

"No. I apologized to my instructor outside for insulting him. Here I am apologizing to my boyfriend for not trusting him to do the right thing for my friend. Please, will you forgive me?"

"Of course, my darling" I sat on the floor, pulled her in my lap and kissed her forehead. We sat there for some time when I sensed that Bella was a little fidgety, as if she wanted to say something else.

"Love, what's the matter? Is there anything else that's troubling you?" I prodded.

"Edward," she turned to face me, "why did you not eat anything yesterday?" Distress was plainly visible in her eyes. I could see that even the thought was painful to her.

I smiled gently and asked her – "Do you really don't know the reason, love or do you just want me to confirm what you think is the reason?"

She lowered her eyes and started playing with her hands – "I think I know and just want to confirm. Though I don't know how will I bear the guilt if what I think is true."

I lifted her face and kissed her lips lightly. "Look in my eyes love and tell me what you think" I asked gently.

She hesitated for a second and then looked into my eyes – "I think it was part of my punishment – the most painful and unbearable part."

"And probably the most effective one as well" I chuckled in an attempt to lighten her mood. It worked partially because she gave me a half smile and nodded.

"You are right love, my not having any meals yesterday was indeed part of your punishment. Yesterday morning you were extremely overwhelmed and out of control of your emotions. I could see that you needed some time out. But you really need to learn to control your reaction to situations, irrespective of your frame of mind. I understand that last week was extremely stressful, but that's going to be a norm in military life, not an exception. You need to learn to manage stress. More importantly you need to recognize when you have reached your limit and need to lie low. Instead of me recognizing that you need time out, you should realize that yourself and take appropriate action without anyone pushing you to do that. What happened yesterday cannot be repeated love. Believe me, I still was lenient with you. If it had been anyone else, you would have been in lot more "physical" pain yesterday than you actually were."

"I thought as much. And I promise I will better manage my moods from now on. I really really promise. If I slip again, you have my permission to make it as painful as you can for me. But why did you send me food then? Don't you think it would have been more effective that way?"

"I will admit my weakness here, love. We both know what happens when you don't eat for long. I just could not bear the thought of you having stomach cramps the whole night and most of the day today, especially when I cannot be there to comfort you."

"And what about me? Do you think I can bear seeing you in this state? You were almost ready to collapse in the grounds. Do you think it is easy for me to see that?" she replied agitated.

"Of course it's not easy. And that's why it is your punishment. Punishments are not meant to be easy, my love." I added tenderly. I could see the fight going away from her. She started sobbing softly resting her head back on my chest. Just then there was a knock and Jasper walked in with two trays of breakfast.

"Sorry guys, took them some time to whip up something edible this early in the day" he explained placing the trays on the table. Bella was still sobbing. I shared a meaningful look with Jasper over her head.

"Come on Bella, no more mopping now. It's done, over. I'm sure both of you have come out stronger from this experience. Look at the plus side, you got to spend some time with your starving boyfriend and now you get to feed him too." He chuckled.

That did the trick – Bella was out of my lap and glaring at Jasper in a second – "That's not funny at all, Jasper. You wouldn't want me to tell Alice that you were making fun of me and my boyfriend here, would you?" she threatened him.

"Woa calm down tigress. No need to bring the pixie in this. I'm going, actually I'm already gone." With that Jasper all but ran out of the room.

We sat on the couch in front of the table. Bella still had some tears in her eyes. I wiped them away with my thumbs –"Hey, come on now. I'm hungry. Can I have my breakfast now or what?" I teased her.

"Oh I'm sorry. Will you let me feed you?" she asked.

"Of course, love. I will not have it any other way".

All too soon the breakfast was over and it was time for Bella to leave for the training.

"Edward, will you let Peter know that I'm very thankful for this time he gave us?"

"Sure love," I replied, "and you can do that yourself also when you meet him in the officer's mess next Sunday."

She raised her eyebrows – "Is that an invitation Mr. Cullen?"

"Yes, if you would like to. I want to introduce you to Peter and Charlotte properly, as my girlfriend. And maybe steal a dance or two."

"It's a date then tiger." She smiled and left leaving me with a full heart and a full stomach.

The rest of the week went by quickly. It was Sunday evening now and Jasper and I were headed to the officer's mess now. There was a spring in my steps, after all I was going to meet Bella there.


End file.
